To Be Honest

I’m going to get real with you people, because well something about a blog post that can be seen around the world just makes me feel candid. I don’t know…it’s true. Anywho, lately I’ve felt a little unmotivated. Break has been relaxing, but the lack of routine has started to pay a toll on some important aspects of my day, namely, my quiet times.

It is frustrating really, I have so much time on my hands, and yet I seem to fill it with anything and everything but Him. Especially after ending my semester feeling slightly drained, I never expected this. I expected to spend my break immersed in His truth, daily being filled and refreshed. But I sit here today, with only a week left, realizing I’ve put God on the back burner.

Why is it that we so easily push aside the One who gives us everything, for the meaningless little things. Ingratitude. Back in November, I wrote this post about how I wanted to start keeping a list of the things I am thankful for. I got a few pages deep, writing down the small things throughout my day where I saw God’s hand. But since I’ve been home, I’ve stopped. I stopped writing things down, but more so I’ve stopped noticing…or paying attention. I’ve become overwhelmed with this relaxation over break that I’ve let contentment come before God Himself. I stopped coming to Him in praise on my own time to thank Him for the ways He is blessing me daily.

As I’ve mentioned before, I am a part of The #SheReadsTruth devotional community. At the beginning of the new year we started a plan called “Fresh Start” that is meant to refresh and prepare us for the work God has planned this year. This past week I’ve fallen behind on my reading. Throughout the day it pops into my head, but I’ve brushed it off to do other things..until yesterday. Yesterday in church it finally hit me, the ways I’ve made time my idol. I was convicted of how I ignored my need for God and wrote off the ways He works in my life daily. So today I sat. I put away all of my media, closed my door and rested with Him in the silence of my room.

This is my confession, of how I’ve neglected the One deserving of all my time. It is my submission, to acknowledge my broken state in need of Him. It is my encouragement, that God gives us unlimited chances, even when we fall away from him.

Today, I am learning.