During my time here at Binghamton, I can humbly say I am learning what it means to be a leader. I have been blessed with the opportunity to serve as a small group leader for almost two semesters now and God has definitely been teaching me a lot.
It is important to vision cast. Vision casting gives purpose to your actions, reminding you of God’s will behind it all. As a small group leader, it can be easy for me to get caught up in the planning. To focus on making “good conversation” flow during bible study or to come up with a creative application response. But that’s not the point. A small group needs to be community. One that promotes deep, vulnerable conversation and equips its members to live missionally. I so easily consume myself with the minor details that I lose sight of that purpose. But without vision, we lose focus on God’s will for our time. Furthermore, if God’s will is not been done, the vision needs to be reassessed.
We are not called to lead alone. God made us relational people for a reason, we are not called to ministry alone. Both semesters I’ve been a leader, I’ve had a co-leader with me. This is by far the most wonderful thing that could have happened to me! Having a partner in crime helps in so many ways. My first semester as a leader, my co-leader Winnie mentored me in how to lead small group. She taught me how to facilitate discussion and challenged me to step out of my comfort zone. This semester, I am paired up with my friend Sasha. She balances me out so well. We are able to bounce ideas off of each other and share the work that goes into planning and facilitating. It has also been so beneficial to fellowship with the other small group leaders in IV. We can come together and share our joys and burdens, what works and doesn’t work, and ultimately build community with each other as we grow together.
Things will go against your plan. This is by far the most difficult thing I am coming to terms with. It is taking a lot of time for me to truly comprehend that God’s plan does not always match up to my own. Some weeks our small group has low attendance, sometimes Sasha and I struggle to facilitate deep conversation, some planning sessions take way longer than expected. But that’s okay. It’s more than okay, because God works in all situations. He is not limited by my idea of a good small group. Ultimately, His will is being done.
If I could sum leadership up in one word I would say humbling. I have been humbled when my plans do not work. I have been humbled when I am reminded to refocus on God’s vision over my own. I have been humbled in realizing I can’t and shouldn’t lead alone. But all in all, leadership has grown and challenged me to rely more on God. It challenges me to live transparently for God in everything I do. I am learning to let God equip me for His kingdom work.