A not-so-DIY

Here I sit, in Starbucks sipping my pumpkin spice latte, feeling all legit (now I know what Erin was talking about in this post). All I can think about are these verses.

1 Peter 5:6-7
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

These words seem so easy, so encouraging. To think that God, as powerful as He is, cares for me enough to take my anxieties and burdens on Him. And yet, here I sit, with the skewed mentality that I need to clean myself up before I come to Him. That He can’t handle the bad stuff, or that I don’t want Him to. I feel like I need to impress Him with my ability to handle everything. But honestly, what is there to impress with? We are a broken people. I am broken. God knows that….but He loves me anyway. He invites me to Him, as I am.

I’ve been wrestling with this truth for a few days now. Thinking about how I need to be vulnerable with people, because God made us relational people so we can encourage each other. But the sad reality is that I rely on people too much. I easily ask people to pray about something for me, and completely disregard my need to pray about it too. It seems that I try to replace God with people. But if God is truly sovereign, then He is the one in control. He is the one I should be going to with my pain. I can’t hide anything from him. And it’s my pride alone that gave me the false idea that I can.

Today in my #SheReadsTruth study, I was reminded of how God canceled out my debt, how He nailed it to the cross. What would it look like if I reminded myself of that daily? If I remembered that He truly does want to raise me up, and rid of the anxieties that weigh me down? He wants to see me grow, not dwell on the past.

I am about to enter a new season of my life. A season of service for God like I haven’t experienced before. It is so exciting, but I also know that it can easily bring stress if I’m not careful. I need to reevaluate the chain of command in my life. I need to give God lordship over everything I do. My schoolwork, leadership, time, relationships, and my struggles. He holds all the power. He is the only one who can strengthen me. I can’t do it myself. He can…and will!