Life Lessons from The Bachelorette

I've always loved hearing stories from people about the ways the Lord reveals Himself to them in the little things in their life. It blows my mind how He works in random ways, but to be honest, I get a little jealous when it doesn't happen to me. Well, God decided to change that recently while I was watching The Bachelorette…and it was pretty crazy!

Let me explain…

This season, the bachelorette Desire has been very open about her feelings for one guy, Brooks. She admitted her feelings for him were far beyond the ones she felt for the other two men left in the competition. However, he also happens to be the only guy left who won’t profess his growing affections to her. He finally realizes he did not share the intensity of the feelings she has for him and chooses to leave the show. Des is understandably heartbroken after pursuing a guy who failed to provide her the affirmation she longed for. Meanwhile, two men have openly expressed their growing love for her and she remained blinded to the beauty of their genuine feelings.

Are you seeing the parallels yet?

We are uniquely formed by a craftsman, not just made by a mold in a factory. God knows how I work. He knows my thoughts, desires, & needs. He is invested in me beyond how anyone else can be. And yet, I still avoid Him who desires me intimately, and I continue seeking after things that cannot reciprocate or fulfill me. Even the people I care for most in this world cannot match the fierce passion the Father has for me, and they never will. Like Des, I so easily long for affirmation in people or things and ignore the One who was waiting there for me the whole time.

Now, obviously I know that the two remaining men in the bachelor are not comparable to the Creator of my heart, but it was amazing the parallels I saw through this situation. We live in a fallible world with fallible people, but an infallible God is there waiting for us to return to Him. I can be so stubborn to the free gifts of life & love that Abba offers me. He formed me with exactness. He knows what makes me tick, and offers comfort to my pain. God, the Creator of everything, created me with intention broad enough to be used for His glory, and intricate enough to be precious in His eyes.

Today, I am amazed at the ways God is choosing to reveal Himself to me, but I am also overwhelmed by His passionate pursuit of me. I need to get out of my “Brooks complex” and open my eyes to the Savior who consistently reveals His perfect love for me. Sisters, God is good and He is pining after you. Invite Him in & experience the beauty of His love!

...and yes, I watched The Bachelorette.

- Sarah

Good

Today is the one day of the year labeled with that adjective. An adjective so very overused in our society, used to describe a wide variety of things in this world. But this good is not of the world. Honestly, I feel like good doesn’t even begin to carry the weight and importance of this day. Jesus died. He died an embarrassing, agonizing, and unimaginable death. The Father actually turned His back on the Son. That is something incomprehensible to us as humans. And, you know what, praise God for that! Praise God that we never, ever have to understand the darkness of God turning away from us.

Sisters, this truth is so, so good. Jesus was not weak and He was not murdered. His powerful love was the cause of His death. It was that love, not nails or Roman guards, that held him to that cross. Can we just stop for a second and think about that? When Jesus was given the option to save His life or ours, we were chosen. Woah. That is why we can turn a death into a celebration.

My heart is so full as I am trying to process all of this. Throwing aside the cookie-cutter crucifixion story and starting to break down the cold, hard facts of Jesus’ death, I am overwhelmed with emotion. It is all so raw, and yet the grace behind it is so sweet.

Tonight at my church’s Good Friday service, we finished the sermon of Jesus’ death with this song. As I sang, I stood there in tears. The words spoke straight to my core. Every line I sang, I became more aware of what Abba did for me, and how utterly undeserving I am of His pardon.

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that left Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

But friends, these are not words of shame, they are words of healing. Words of hope, that His wounds paid our ransom. We are free! This is why Good Friday is good. God’s perfect love was consolidated into the single most powerful act of love in history. The Father sacrificed His son. Jesus bore every sin known to man and faced spiritual separation from God. All so that we never have to. It is unfathomable, but it is true.

My prayer is that we can rest in His freedom, that we praise the one who paid our debt and raised us from the death!

Live Life: Give

This week’s Live Life challenge is to give. My first reaction….I’m a broke college student, I’ve got nothing to give. Silly Sarah…

When I began thinking of what I could give, I tried to think about what I hoard the most in my life. I wanted to give up what I am idolizing, so that I can use it to further God’s kingdom instead of my own. Once I had this mindset, it was clear what I needed to give. My Time.

Time has been a tricky thing this semester, between school work, Eboard responsibilities, and trying to have a social life, I’ve gained a very selfish and skewed viewpoint of my time. I’ve began to think of it as my own. I wake up, give God a few minutes of my time, go to class, go to the gym, do homework and hang out with friends. Its become monotonous and routine. And I can honestly say that the time with God I’ve listed has not been priority. I could easily sit hear and complain that I just need more hours in the day, but in reality I need to reevaluate my priorities. I have realized this week how closed off I’ve made my schedule to actually let God use me.

This week, I’ve been challenged to rearrange what my days look like. I’m choosing to get up earlier to work out before class. This gives me time to grab coffee or a meal with people in my life that I feel God has called me to invest in spiritually. I’m setting aside more time to spend in His word and in prayer, so that my strength can be rooted in Him. I am starting my homework earlier so that I can have a more fruitful Sabbath.

My time is not my own. It is the Father’s gift to me. It is what I am choosing to give & release this week, for His kingdom to come.

What do you feel God calling you to give?

Live Life: Pray

Last week, I committed to limit my time with social media for Lent. It was surprisingly easy to do. I have only been checking Instagram and Facebook once every night (besides my Sabbath this weekend). I have seriously felt so free and at peace about it, it’s cool to see the it is all truly just excess.

This week’s Lent challenge is prayer. The tagline in my email notification read “Do you ever feel frustrated with prayer?” Ummmmm, it’s like they were writing directly to me. Lately my quiet times with God have been so methodical: bible, journal, pray, done. I've just felt disconnected, like there’s a wall between God and I. The most humbling part, it’s not God’s fault….it’s my attitude. I've been turning my prayer life into a wish list again. When it comes down to it, I've forgotten the reverence behind prayer. I've ignored God’s sovereignty.

One of this week’s challenges is to pray in a format similar to the Lord’s prayer. This structure opens with adoration for His power, and the supplication is not a selfish one. It’s to see His kingdom come. His will be done. What does that mean? It’s not about me. My mission is to see His kingdom come in my life, and on my campus.

So this week, I’m devoting time to converse with my Savior, intimately. I want to set aside time each morning when I wake up, and right before I go to bed to come God to listen and speak. I am also praying over this prayer, my personalized version of Matthew 6:5-13:

”Our Father, you are good and powerful and worthy of my praise. You provide for me beyond compare. Lord, I pray that your will be done on this campus. That your kingdom come at BU. You are my strength & my power. Remind me that you are my source. I pray against selfishness & pride. You are good and your plan exceeds my own. May I be constantly humbled to do Your will this week. Thy will be done. Thy kingdom come.”

Live Life: Fast

Week one of the Live Life challenge is focusing on fasting. This is the aspect of Lent I am most familiar with. Growing up, I always heard my friends talking about how they were giving up sweets or tv or something for the time of Lent. Many of them did so begrudgingly, so I never understood the point. But this year, I wanted to fast with a purpose. The point of fasting isn’t to just give something up, it is to examine the aspects of your life that distract you, specifically from God. Immediately, one thing comes to mind. Social media.

I am overly attached to this. I wake up in the morning and immediately check Facebook, Bloglovin’, and Instagram on my phone. Periodically throughout the day I do the same. The last thing I see before I go to sleep is my screen. It seriously a problem. I am starting and ending my day with the world. I distract myself from boring lectures with virtual updates. And yet, in the midst of it all, I devote maybe 15 minutes solely to my Creator. 15 minutes. That’s 1% of my day. 1% to the One who gave me life and everything I have. That’s pretty darn embarrassing.

This Lent, I am not trying to achieve a goal, I am trying to transform how my time is spent. I want to live in a way that shows that God is enough for me. My time does not need to be filled with nonsense that won’t matter days, weeks, or years down the road. My time needs to be with Abba, my Heavenly Father. This Lent, I am unplugging social media during the day. I am only logging on briefly at night and on Sundays. My day will start and end with God, and my down time will be spent being intentional with the people placed in my life. My hope is that through this, I will see glimpses of a life lived to the fullest….a life lived for Him.

Live Life

Prior to college, I never celebrated Lent. To be honest, I always thought it was just a Catholic thing. I recently switched churches here at school and started attending an Anglican church. It has been a great experience seeing worship in such a reverent setting compared to the very casual church I’m used to back home. I am still learning a lot about the church and its traditions, but I decided to do Lent this year. I was unsure of what to do or give up, until I talked to my friend Mackenzie yesterday. Mackenzie invited me to join her as she is doing World Vision’s “Live Life” campaign.
Each week of Lent, we will be participating in a challenge hosted by World Vision. Here is the break down:

I am so excited to see how God is going to grow me through these challenges leading up to the celebration of His death and resurrection!
Will you join me?

Here’s to a New Semester…

Hey friends, I realize it’s been over a week since I’ve written, so I guess I should start by confirming my existence :P I am, in fact, alive. Between visiting friends in Syracuse last week, InterVarsity Eboard meetings on the weekend, and starting class this week, I have been quite busy…in the best sense of the word.

I am currently on day 4 of the spring semester, and I can honestly say I can already feel its going to be a good one. My classes are all a little tough, but all very interesting. My favorite part so far? Getting to sleep in until 9 each morning (and having at least an hour and a half before class). Trust me, after having four 8:30s last semester, this is quite a treat! I love that I can wake up slowly, eat breakfast, and sip tea while I spend time with the Father. It is the best way to start my day.

As I mentioned before, I spent a good chunk of my last two weeks with my fellow Eboard members planning for our fellowship’s semester. I want to start by first thanking each of you who prayed for us as we planned together. It was a lot of work for sure, but God really met me in some sweet ways. I am already seeing what it means to be humbled in leadership, and He is truly beginning to grow me. Besides talking logistics, we were able really focus our vision for the semester. We are so excited to see how God is going to work specifically through small groups to bring more students on Binghamton’s campus to know His redeeming love. Specifically, we prayed hard about a number of students we want to come to know Him in these next months, and we are excited to see 7 meet and accept Jesus. This is more than a number, it is 7 people’s lives transformed by the grace that surpasses all understanding!

I ask for continued prayer for InterVarsity in these months. This Friday is our general interest meeting, where we will hopefully meet many new faces! During the semester, we will be reading through Ecclesiastes in small groups and also focusing on a series about being “radical” in response to the way Jesus lived. I cannot wait to see what God has in store for our fellowship and for me!
Well, its about time for me to head off to orgo, so I figured I leave you with my life through Instagram (@serogers22) these past two weeks. Enjoy!

A Diplomatic Task

Yesterday during my quiet time I read these words:

I’ve written a post on them before, but they carry more weight each time I read them. I am an ambassador of the gospel. Can we pause and soak in how big of a deal that is?!?

Webster Dictionary defines ambassador in this way:

“1. an official diplomatic agent of the highest rank accredited to a foreign government as the resident representative appointed for a special diplomatic assignment
2. an authorized representative or messenger”

If that doesn’t sound legit then I don’t know what does. These words carry such weight and merit. We are given such a powerful and exciting job. Chosen to represent the most prestigious kingdom ever in existence. Woah. My thoughts and actions represent the King.

Ambassadors are not called to stay home, they are called to go out…to represent. The task may be difficult, but they are given a special prize. Diplomatic immunity. Think about it, not only is professing God worth it, but He promises to keep us safe, and His children are offered the ultimate reward: His redemption through the death on the cross.

Friends, do not be discouraged by the world today. We are given a special task by our Father. Go and be bold today!

Great Expectations

My car is packed and I’m gathering the last few things in my room; its official, I’m saying goodbye to my home again until Easter. While school doesn’t start for me until January 28th, I have quite a busy week in upstate New York. This weekend I will be away at a leadership retreat in Saratoga, then I’m making a quick pit stop in Syracuse to visit some wonderful people, and by this time Thursday, I will be all settled into my dorm room at Binghamton.

This coming semester, I have the amazing opportunity to serve on the executive board of my campus’s chapter of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for receiving the position. I am working alongside four other students as we help plan the semester for our fellowship. Specifically, my job is to coordinate the weekly Friday night meetings we hold for a large number of students. Over break I’ve been getting in contact with speakers and all that good stuff in preparation for the spring semester. But this weekend and next weekend, I will be doing a lot of planning with our Eboard as we vision cast for how to grow our fellowship in Christ. We know that God has great things planned for our campus, and I truly believe that we can see lives transformed by His love this coming year.

So friends, I ask for prayer as we are at the retreat this weekend (and our meetings next weekend). Prayer that God will reveal to us the ways He wants our fellowship to work and grow. Prayer that we submit willingly to the ways God is going to mold us and the rest of our chapter. And prayer for my campus. That they return this semester with a curiosity and yearning to know Christ on a deep and personal level.

I have great expectations for these next few days, and I thank you in advance for your prayers!

To Be Honest

I’m going to get real with you people, because well something about a blog post that can be seen around the world just makes me feel candid. I don’t know…it’s true. Anywho, lately I’ve felt a little unmotivated. Break has been relaxing, but the lack of routine has started to pay a toll on some important aspects of my day, namely, my quiet times.

It is frustrating really, I have so much time on my hands, and yet I seem to fill it with anything and everything but Him. Especially after ending my semester feeling slightly drained, I never expected this. I expected to spend my break immersed in His truth, daily being filled and refreshed. But I sit here today, with only a week left, realizing I’ve put God on the back burner.

Why is it that we so easily push aside the One who gives us everything, for the meaningless little things. Ingratitude. Back in November, I wrote this post about how I wanted to start keeping a list of the things I am thankful for. I got a few pages deep, writing down the small things throughout my day where I saw God’s hand. But since I’ve been home, I’ve stopped. I stopped writing things down, but more so I’ve stopped noticing…or paying attention. I’ve become overwhelmed with this relaxation over break that I’ve let contentment come before God Himself. I stopped coming to Him in praise on my own time to thank Him for the ways He is blessing me daily.

As I’ve mentioned before, I am a part of The #SheReadsTruth devotional community. At the beginning of the new year we started a plan called “Fresh Start” that is meant to refresh and prepare us for the work God has planned this year. This past week I’ve fallen behind on my reading. Throughout the day it pops into my head, but I’ve brushed it off to do other things..until yesterday. Yesterday in church it finally hit me, the ways I’ve made time my idol. I was convicted of how I ignored my need for God and wrote off the ways He works in my life daily. So today I sat. I put away all of my media, closed my door and rested with Him in the silence of my room.

This is my confession, of how I’ve neglected the One deserving of all my time. It is my submission, to acknowledge my broken state in need of Him. It is my encouragement, that God gives us unlimited chances, even when we fall away from him.

Today, I am learning.

To 2012…

I’ve been seeing a lot of “2012 Recap” posts floating around this bloggy world. Gosh, it’s like its 2013 tomorrow or something :p Anyway, I‘ve read posts about DIYs, outfits, travels, and other memories. While these are all exciting and truly wonderful, I have something a little different in mind. This past year, my relationship with God has been nothing short than crazy! I went from thinking I had everything together to realizing the brokenness I have in my life. I started to see how life-giving and life-altering an uninhibited walk with Him can be. This year…has been a learning process. It has been exciting, convicting, challenging, uncomfortable, joyful, and fruitful!

Here’s my short recap of God’s work in my life in 2012:

~He challenged me to pursue outreach

~I accepted the role as a small group leader and was humbled in my leadership

~I got out of a non-God-honoring relationship and released my life to His plan

~I took a leap of faith and started this blog to document my journey

~I became consistent in my daily time with Him, and grew exponentially

~He broke my heart for the needs of others around me, and I started to learn to be selfless with my time

~He showed me that my value needs to come from Him alone

~I reassessed and restructured my prayer life

~I started to see the beauty and joy of a relationship founded on His love

~I was challenged to be bold around my non-Christian peers

~He revealed the ways I need to grow in the relationship I have with my family

~I began taking time to be thankful for the little blessing in my life

~I was challenged to step out of my comfort zone and choose a new church home at school

~I learned (and am still learning) to trust….in Him alone

All that being said, I know I still have so much growing to do. I could go on and on about everything God has done for me and in me this year. It has truly been unbelievable how He gripped me and revealed to me so many aspects of my life that needed to change and I needed to release to Him. As I enter the new year, I come excited and expectant for His work in my life. I know He has mighty plans for my walk as I embark on this new season. My hope is that I can continue to be emboldened to do Christ’s work in my life.

So here’s to 2013: May it be a year that we are filled with His power & grace! Thanks 2012, it’s been real.

Worthy Export

Currently many of my friends are joined by over 16,000 other students from around the globe at InterVaristy’s Urbana 2012. For those of you who haven’t heard of it, Urbana is a global missions conference held every three years that engages students in a multicultural setting on how to bring God’s kingdom here on the earth. I am so excited for the experiences they are having, and I cannot wait to hear about it from all of my sweet friends who are being met by God in some pretty cool ways.

Although I was unable to attend this year, I have been following along with the live feed (you should check it out!). God has already been challenging me as the speakers delve through the gospel of Luke. The first night Calisto Odede, a pastor from Kenya, spoke on Luke 4:16-30, when Jesus was rejected in Nazareth. Some of Calisto’s words really gripped me:

“Many of us would rather go to total strangers and share with them about our faith and Jesus Christ rather than turn to our friends, to our colleagues, and our family members where we are known. We’d rather keep quiet about Jesus Christ. Not so with Jesus. Well if you cannot share it with people who are nearby, you cannot share it with people far off. If it is not good enough for local consumption, it is not good enough for export!”

Woah. Prior to hearing this, I was putting away laundry while listening to the message. But then I stopped. Literally. I  stood there, rewound the video, and let those words resonate. I felt convicted.

I have always struggled with this aspect of outreach. Even in my youth group, this was the common theme among us. We hated sharing the gospel with the people who knew us best. But Jesus, He knew this to be true. Verse 24 says “Truly, I say to you, no prophet is acceptable in His hometown.” But that didn’t stop Jesus. He revealed Himself as Christ, as the fulfillment of all the prophecies. He told them what He had to tell, and He told them what they needed to hear.

Our excuses are always the same. “They’ll judge me” or “I’ll lose friends” or “They won’t care”. but honestly, when did it become okay to write our our friends’ need for a savior? They are just as broken as we are. Why would we want to keep them from true peace, from true joy?

Jesus was literally thrown out of His hometown for speaking truth, but He did not back down. He embodied the truest example of missional living: unadulterated selfless passion for people. And He calls us to do the same. To live dangerously. To live uncomfortably. To live missionally. What would it look like if we stopped caring about our image, and started caring about the image of God? What if we saw the value in what we are consuming from Him, and had the courage to export His truth?

This is what I’m praying over today.

White as Snow

As I sit here writing, I glance outside and see the wonder and whimsy that is a snow storm. The first true storm of the season. And all I can think is that God is good. He is truly the greatest artist. I cannot understand how someone claim claim snow to just be science. It is beauty.

The way it falls softly to the ground.

The way each flake is perfectly shaped; an original in itself.

The way it makes everything so fresh, so clean.

God is good, He is perfect & pure…and yet wants us. The dirty broken people we are, and He doesn’t leave us in this state. I am awestruck by this truth.

By the end of this past semester, I felt drained. Drained physically and emotionally, and it started to affect me spiritually. Since break began, I have been searching for His peace again, longing for that passion I know He’s given me. And as I sit here now, I am starting to regain that peace. He is making me fresh and clean. He is washing me white as snow.

So friends, as this busy season is winding down, take moments to pause in His glory. Look outside at the wonder of the Artist’s grand painting. Allow yourself to be refreshed by His grace, because with the new year comes new opportunity for us to be used & molded in His plan.

“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord:
though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red like crimson,
they shall become like wool.”
~Isaiah 1:18

Currently…

Loving…the frosty ground outside this morning

Listening…to “Of Monsters And Men” radio on Pandora

Reading…the Advent devotional plan by #SheReadsTruth

Eating…gingerbread men & double spice chai tea

Studying…organic chemistry. Wahoo pre-finals week.

Wearing…

Memorizing…

Thankful Thursday

This week has been stressful….that may be an understatement. It seems like all of my professors want to cram as much material in as possible before the exams, and I am most certainly not a fan. Between assignments and studying, I was overwhelmed these past few days and I felt tired and drained. But, I did title this post “Thankful Thursday” and that was no mistake. As I sit here at my computer, I am overwhelmed with peace, despite everything this week. Peace from God that has led to my thanksgiving.

Today I’m thankful for…

Texts from friends saying they were praying for me.

Sweet hugs that were shared.

Sleeping in on Tuesday morning.

A surprise letter of encouragement from my friend Lacy.

The Advent plan I started this week.

That feeling after my orgo test was done.

Date night silliness including a thrift store run for ugly Christmas sweaters.


Some awesome time with God reminding me of His power through all situations.

Only two weeks separating me from winter break!!

“From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”  ~Psalm 61:2

On Leading

During my time here at Binghamton, I can humbly say I am learning what it means to be a leader. I have been blessed with the opportunity to serve as a small group leader for almost two semesters now and God has definitely been teaching me a lot.

It is important to vision cast. Vision casting gives purpose to your actions, reminding you of God’s will behind it all. As a small group leader, it can be easy for me to get caught up in the planning. To focus on making “good conversation” flow during bible study or to come up with a creative application response. But that’s not the point. A small group needs to be community. One that promotes deep, vulnerable conversation and equips its members to live missionally. I so easily consume myself with the minor details that I lose sight of that purpose. But without vision, we lose focus on God’s will for our time. Furthermore, if God’s will is not been done, the vision needs to be reassessed.

We are not called to lead alone. God made us relational people for a reason, we are not called to ministry alone. Both semesters I’ve been a leader, I’ve had a co-leader with me. This is by far the most wonderful thing that could have happened to me! Having a partner in crime helps in so many ways. My first semester as a leader, my co-leader Winnie mentored me in how to lead small group. She taught me how to facilitate discussion and challenged me to step out of my comfort zone. This semester, I am paired up with my friend Sasha. She balances me out so well. We are able to bounce ideas off of each other and share the work that goes into planning and facilitating. It has also been so beneficial to fellowship with the other small group leaders in IV. We can come together and share our joys and burdens, what works and doesn’t work, and ultimately build community with each other as we grow together.

Things will go against your plan. This is by far the most difficult thing I am coming to terms with. It is taking a lot of time for me to truly comprehend that God’s plan does not always match up to my own. Some weeks our small group has low attendance, sometimes Sasha and I struggle to facilitate deep conversation, some planning sessions take way longer than expected. But that’s okay. It’s more than okay, because God works in all situations. He is not limited by my idea of a good small group. Ultimately, His will is being done.

If I could sum leadership up in one word I would say humbling. I have been humbled when my plans do not work. I have been humbled when I am reminded to refocus on God’s vision over my own. I have been humbled in realizing I can’t and shouldn’t lead alone. But all in all, leadership has grown and challenged me to rely more on God. It challenges me to live transparently for God in everything I do. I am learning to let God equip me for His kingdom work.

Thankful Thursday

I mentioned in this post that I was going to start a list of the things I’m thankful for on a daily basis. Well, my life has been pretty hectic since then so I put it off. But wow is that the wrong attitude! The busier I am the more I need to step back and thank God for the things He’s giving me. That being said, I bought a notebook on Sunday and I’ve been writing down a few things that I’ve been blessed with this week.



These are just a few of the things that made me thankful this week. Hopefully as time goes on, I’ll be able to notice so many more things throughout my day. I am officially on my way to my list of One Thousand Gifts. Already, God has been changing my heart to reveal the ways He is at work, and I’m excited to see how He grows me through this!
I’m also linking up with Sarah at Gracefully Made for Thankful Thursday!

A not-so-DIY

Here I sit, in Starbucks sipping my pumpkin spice latte, feeling all legit (now I know what Erin was talking about in this post). All I can think about are these verses.

1 Peter 5:6-7
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

These words seem so easy, so encouraging. To think that God, as powerful as He is, cares for me enough to take my anxieties and burdens on Him. And yet, here I sit, with the skewed mentality that I need to clean myself up before I come to Him. That He can’t handle the bad stuff, or that I don’t want Him to. I feel like I need to impress Him with my ability to handle everything. But honestly, what is there to impress with? We are a broken people. I am broken. God knows that….but He loves me anyway. He invites me to Him, as I am.

I’ve been wrestling with this truth for a few days now. Thinking about how I need to be vulnerable with people, because God made us relational people so we can encourage each other. But the sad reality is that I rely on people too much. I easily ask people to pray about something for me, and completely disregard my need to pray about it too. It seems that I try to replace God with people. But if God is truly sovereign, then He is the one in control. He is the one I should be going to with my pain. I can’t hide anything from him. And it’s my pride alone that gave me the false idea that I can.

Today in my #SheReadsTruth study, I was reminded of how God canceled out my debt, how He nailed it to the cross. What would it look like if I reminded myself of that daily? If I remembered that He truly does want to raise me up, and rid of the anxieties that weigh me down? He wants to see me grow, not dwell on the past.

I am about to enter a new season of my life. A season of service for God like I haven’t experienced before. It is so exciting, but I also know that it can easily bring stress if I’m not careful. I need to reevaluate the chain of command in my life. I need to give God lordship over everything I do. My schoolwork, leadership, time, relationships, and my struggles. He holds all the power. He is the only one who can strengthen me. I can’t do it myself. He can…and will!

Expedition

As I mentioned before, I had the opportunity a few weeks ago to attend InterVarsity’s annual fall conference Expedition. The weekend was filled with goofy friends, matching pj’s, late night drug store runs, lots of laughter, and God. Meeting me right where I needed Him most.

It. Was. Awesome.

I participated in the prayer track, and I can honestly say I didn’t really know what to expect. I knew I’d be taking away new insight on my prayer life, but I definitely wasn’t expecting the ways God challenged me.

First, He challenged me to reevaluate how I pray. As an extravert, I constantly feel the need to fill the silences. I can easily be that person who rambles in their prayer….but that’s just no good! In fact, Matthew 6:7 speaks blatantly against that. In my track, we learned how to pray in agreement. now, I had done it before, but never properly. But after this weekend, I really see the power in keeping your words few and affirming each other’s prayers. Silence is also becoming more prevalent in my personal prayer. I’m learning (and struggling) to allow God to fill my time instead of just talking at Him….it is a conversation after all!

Second, and one of my favorite aspects of the weekend, was learning about ninja prayer. (Just saying it makes me smile!) Confused? Ninja prayer is where you go into situation, maybe a public place like a café, and pray over your surroundings. You observe the environment, listen in creep on conversations, and pray. The purpose of ninja prayer, or stealthy intercession, is to come in, pray, and leave without people knowing. Its not about you, but totally about the people around you. We had the opportunity to pray over a couple other tracks at the conference, and boy was it powerful! There’s something so wonderful about being completely selfless in your prayer. Coming back to campus, I’ve been excited to try this in the cafes, dining halls, and even in church. It is so easy yet so impactful. Think about it, God has sovereignty over every situation…even the ones we aren’t fully connected with!

Finally, God met me on such a personal level. As I mentioned here, I was convicted on one speaker’s talk on rest, and how I fail to do it. But beyond that, God revealed to me ways that I was still broken and hiding from Him. You see, God had been putting my one friend on my heart a lot lately. I had felt this pull to talk with her for a few weeks and we finally got to hang out at Expedition. I went into the conversation thinking God wanted to use me to encourage her and be there for her, but boy did I underestimate His plans. Our conversation opened up things within me that I hadn’t told anyone. Brokenness I had kept to myself because I didn’t think anyone could relate. But to my amazement, Katie was in the same boat. We talked and cried (well, I cried) and prayed for each other. I left feeling refreshed and free. I have a peace that was from truly handing these things over to Him. I am so joyful that God brought Katie & I together that weekend, because I know for sure it was not by accident. He is just so good.

Anywho, I figured I couldn’t end this post without some pictures of my weekend at Expedition!



Late night snack run…complete with mini Ben & Jerry’s // Maggie and I with our amazing pajamas // post-Expedition Chipotle // Piggyback ride // Katie & I debriefing our fellowship on the prayer track

All of the Binghamton IVCF who went…I love these people so much!

Thanksgiving

thanks·giv·ing [thangks-giv-ing] noun 

1. the act of giving thanks; grateful acknowledgment of benefits or favors, especially to God.
2. an expression of thanks, especially to God.
3. a public celebration in acknowledgment of divine favor or kindness.
4. a day set apart for giving thanks to God.

The concept of thanksgiving has very prevalent in my life lately. Now that it’s officially November, I have a feeling that this will be coming up a lot more in the near future.

Back in September, I started reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. Although its been hard for me to stay consistent with my reading, I have undeniably been impacted by Ann’s words. I am most inspired by her choice to make a list of 1,000 things she’s thankful for. From the small parts of her day that bring a smile to her face, to the big ways she has been blessed. The impact of this list is so apparent in her life. Her attitude and outlook are radically changed. What would it look like if I actually took time out of my day to identify the things I’m thankful for? What if I actually acknowledged the ways God blessed me? My stress would minimize, and my fire to she His truth would be ignited.

So this post…its my humble admission that I do not practice gratitude. I fail to celebrate the wonderful little things in my life.This post is my call to change. To begin living in a way that takes the focus on myself and give the glory to God. Starting today, I am going to list out the things I’m thankful for. I am starting my one thousand gifts list. {Stay tuned to see how its turning out}

As I wrote this post this song kept coming to mind. It is currently one of my favorites, and I believe it is quite fitting for the topic.

Will you join me? To go beyond the superficial “thanksgiving” that is associated with this month, and dive deep into the things we are truly thankful for.